Today is the first of August which means my birthday is in 20 days in which I will be 35. As I was at church this morning, I noticed a female toddler behind me. She was so cute and a true handful for her mother. As I do when I see kids, the yearning inside of me grows. I thought to myself if I were to have children in the next year(assuming I meet and get married before then), when the child turns 15, I will be 50. I really began to wonder if my time for having children has passed me by. That thought will hit me hard and made me straight up DEPRESSED.
As I was headed to a birthday dinner for my mother away from mother, I was talking to my BFF about my thoughts on children. She asked me if I wanted kids, I told her I do and how I'm thinking my time may have passed. She told me "Jo you can always adopt and you can have Naish."
That is the typical response I received from my friends who are parents, "you can just have my kids." Yes that's exactly what I want. NOT!!
A few years back I had made a goal/plan that by the time I hit 35, if I was not married, I would adopt. Well 35 is in 20 days. Here's the thing, I always thought I would be raising children with a husband. I haven't given up on the husband so I shouldn't give up on being married and having children. I know something needs to happen soon if I truly believe my time is up.
Too bad I can't wish for a husband. :-)
Then again what's the saying "be careful what you wish for"