Emotional day

I've had several crying spells today. It was something about Sunday. I have this idea of going to worship service on Sunday with my husband. We're driving in the car together. We're driving home together. It's something about that image that I am in love with. Driving home today to an empty house AGAIN was a big emotional trigger for me. 

I've been kind of in a funk all day. Neti could hear it in my voice. I wonder if I was married to the ONE would I truly be happy the way I imagine I would be. I was happy a long time ago. I was in a relationship. I was in love. I was so happy. I miss it so much. 

I even went and looked at HIS Facebook page and just browsed through his pictures. That's the past. I need to look toward the future

Seeing the real deal

I had a male friend. Up until a few hours ago I might have seen a future. There's that saying the last good nerve just snapped. That's exactly what happened. Let me start by giving the background. I texted him a few times yesterday to see if he wanted to come over. After the 2nd text and no response. I decided to give him a call. No response until this morning. When I ask him about being MIA, he pretty much brushes it off by saying that he was busy. I'm a firm believer that you make time for what's important to you. If I read too much into it, who knows.  I let him know that. He told me he was busy and to get over it. Seriously?? At this point I'm boiling hot like grease to fry fish. I have a long ugly text ready to go. I attempt to call my BFF, can't get her. I call tall drink, he's 1 of my really good friends in the whole wide world. He talks me down and tells me to reply in a much calmer way. He said he will either apologize or not. My ex male friend tells me it's fun and remember  that this is what I did. Seriously?? Not once does he admit that he could have picked up the phone or text to say he was busy. Never admit it. I told him to remember that I am the best thing that ever happened to him and he lost it. He totally missed that he doesn't see me as important to him. When someone doesn't take the time to just say I'm busy when they're busy, you are not important to them. It hurts because I care and he apparently doesn't. I know I deserve better.

The Weekend

Don't get me wrong, I am very blessed to be employed. I truly HATE working on the weekend. Not that I have a whole lot going on. I would just enjoy sleeping in sometimes. I would love knowing that I only work Monday through Friday. That's how life is.

This makes day 3 of a 6 day stretch. It takes a toll around day 5. I am looking forward to the 4 day weekend when Wednesday 4:30pm EDT gets here. No travel plans. Just be glad to be out of work for 4 days.

Weekend countdown here I come!!